Red Alert » humour

How to win

Trevor Mallard — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 03:58:05 +0000

Need a croc when Sunday sleep disturbed ?

Trevor Mallard — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:57:14 +0000

Doesn’t meet Clare’s serious discourse test but amusing nevertheless. The Guardian has a video:-

A giant saltwater crocodile named Elvis charged at an Australian reptile park worker before stealing his lawn mower.

Tim Faulkner, operations manager at the Australian Reptile Park, north of Sydney, was one of three workers tending to the lawn in Elvis’s enclosure on Wednesday when he heard the crocodile’s keeper, Billy Collett, let out a yelp. Faulkner looked up to see the 5m-long,500kg crocodile lunging out of its lagoon at Collett, who warded the creature off with his mower.

“Before we knew it, the croc had the mower above his head,” Faulkner said. “He got his jaws around the top of the mower and picked it up and took it underwater with him.”

The workers quickly left the enclosure. Elvis, meanwhile, showed no signs of relinquishing his new toy and sat guarding it closely all morning.

The Double Negative Endorsement

Grant Robertson — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:55:04 +0000

What a curious circus act yesterday between John Key and John Banks. The thing that struck me was the nature of the “endorsement”.

First, John Key appears to want National voters in Epsom to vote for John Banks, or so the media tells us. That is National voters except for him, John Key resident of Epsom, who won’t be voting for John Banks.

Not quite the “clear message” to the voters of Auckland. This is compounded by the use of the well known tactic of clarity and certainty- the double negative. In this case, “not unhappy”.

In the end I think how people vote is a very personal thing but what we are clearly saying is we’re not unhappy if National voters decide to vote tactically

Does that mean ‘happy”, does that mean something less than happy. Who knows? But its curious. If you want people to vote for him, have the guts to actually say it.

And where was poor old Don Brash in all of this. Key is reported as saying he thinks Don Brash is “flexible” and not extreme like Roger Douglas. That is a very recent change of tune from the man he described as ‘hard core’ and ‘very right wing’ over the last couple of years.

Maybe we can put the double negative down to the 0.7% poll that will be out this weekend for ACT. I guess that’s what is a called “not an ideal result.”

Stable Government- brought to you by ACT

Grant Robertson — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:54:44 +0000

A bit of fun passed on to me by an interested reader.

Poor people don’t need much to live on?

Darien Fenton — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 03:56:32 +0000

CTU’s Vote Fairness video :

Tweet of the Week

Moana Mackey — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 10:48:31 +0000

Tweet of the Week: The election campaign kicked off proper with the party political broadcasts. Aside from the dreadful lighting and persistent buzzing sound John Key’s suit did seem to blend into the backdrop…

The Twitter-sphere seemed to agree that regardless of which way you might vote the Labour opening address was far superior

And again regardless of voting preference there seemed to be general surprise at how underwhelming the National Party effort was.

There were many tweets along this line

Wally of the Week: Tau’s erudite response to Labour’s opening address.

I do enjoy the smaller party opening addresses though…

I must admit I did think he was almost shouting at the camera

Hehe

Press Tweet of the Week: Couldn’t resist

Nationals’s campaign launch today was a full on Crosby-Textor onslaught to spin asset sales as a major positive for the country because the one off hit of money would be spent on schools and hospitals (that the ongoing revenue from these assets is already being spent on)

And a very good point re: the spin about asset sales funding “modern schools”

And finally – the $60 million dollar question of which political party gets the all powerful John Rowles celebrity endorsement has finally been answered!

The Three-Way Handshake, by popular demand

Grant Robertson — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 22:00:37 +0000

We have had a number of requests for some footage of the famous awkward moment from Sunday night. So by the wonders of modern technology, the moment has been captured for you. Don’t say we don’t do anything for you!

brilliant 30 second answer for a slow john

Trevor Mallard — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 01:48:55 +0000

Well done John Pagani.

True words in jest

Trevor Mallard — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:50:36 +0000

All Blacks

Trevor Mallard — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 03:28:11 +0000

Campaign team meeting the other day. Great biscuits for morning tea.