It might sound funny coming from a politician, but there can be few better pieces of advice than for a parent to spend more time with the kids.
One of the stand-out nuggets in the Ministry of Social Development’s always fascinating Social Report out today was the news that significantly fewer secondary school kids report they are getting enough time with Mum and Dad than several years earlier.
This is important because, well I guess it is obvious, but as the Report notes: “Having a close and caring relationship with a parent is one of the most important predictors of good health and wellbeing for young people.”
In 2007 only 57% of young people (12-18 years) said they got enough time with one or both of their parents. This is down from 62% in 2001. About half of the students said they got enough time with Mum (46%) but little more than a third said they got enough time with Dad (39%).
Surprise surprise, most reported the reason for not seeing enough of their parents was pressure of work.
I wonder why this is happening? The obvious explanation is that more people moved into work. In the 2001-2007 period we saw a rapid rise in the rate of employment. Maybe we are working longer hours too.
What does this mean for policy makers? We need more family friendly and work-life balance policies like the extra week’s annual holiday. We should encourage the return of overtime pay through collective bargaining. And for that matter penal rates for weekend work. Better public transport so Mum and Dad spend less time commuting.
But as with most things, the choices we make as individuals can often make as much of a difference as laws and policies. I reckon one of the most positive social changes of the last twenty years (uncorroborated by the kind of empirical data found in the Social Report) is the more hands-on role Kiwi fathers play these days. Walk around our beaches, malls and parks on any weekend day and likely as not you will see fathers with their kids out spending time together. Next step is to connect with those grumpy 12-18 years olds who are feeling unloved.
“But as with most things, the choices we make as individuals can often make as much of a difference as laws and policies.”
We only needs laws & policies from the state because individuals do not have the willingness or the courage to take responsibility for themselves.
You will note that the decline in the amount of time parents spent with their kids is all attributable to the last labour government. You might think I’m just being silly but the general feeling among those I talk to is that Helen’s labour was very much about dis-establishing the traditional family.
It will be an ideal opportunity for National after 9 years in government to look at a similar study that will show an increase in the amount of time children report they get with their parents. I’ve personally fathered two children under Helen’s Labour, and am very relieved they have at least another 8 years of growing up time without having to worry about the anti-family values party screwing their lives up.
LabRat, you must be joking surely. Labour recognised that pressure of work and related financial stress were putting tremendous stress on families. A suite of work-life balance policies followed: four weeks annual leave so families get more time together, paid parental leave so parents get to spend vital time with their newborns, decent work breaks to make work less stressful (that the Nats are now repealing), tax reform through Working for Families that ensured low-income working families got a fair share of the fruits of a decade of economic growth. Add to that a massive expansion of early childhood education through the 20 hours free for three and four year olds…so that at last Kiwi parents would be able to make decent choices between paid work and staying home to raise the kids. Sounds like a very pro-family agenda to me.
Phil I have to fess up, I was being facetious. I withdraw and apologise.
Are you sure you are not being facetious about being facetious?
Um… does that mean I’d have to withdraw and apologise for that too?
Being honest about it, I’m actually very happy about the 20 hours free ECE, and my only wish would be that it kicked in sooner than age 3. The notion that we could choose to have one parent not working is a bit out there for us (financially) and with both kids we got them into ECE at age 6 months. I don’t think that’s an ideal situation, but that is basically determined by housing costs. Freeing up more land for housing (increasing supply to lower pricing) would likely lead to better outcomes for young families.
Yes, withdraw and apologise immediately! I agree housing costs have been a major cause of financial stress for families. They have also eaten into the gains of Working for Families, and pushed a greater number of families below the poverty line. If by freeing up more land you mean relaxing the metropolitan urban limits around Auckland I dont think that is a sustainable solution…but housing affordability is certainly a big nut that we have yet to crack.
Actually I’m not in Auckland Phil, so that wouldn’t directly affect me
It certainly is a big nut to crack, unlikely to be solved in blog comments, but certainly an issue of concern to all young kiwis. A good strategy around that would be an asset to a political party
Thanks for the 4 weeks annual leave
The one thing that concerns me is people trading public holidays for cash.
Has Labour given any thought to introducing a legislated 4 day, 10 hours per day, standard working week..? Or even 4 days, 9 hours per day..?
It would give parents an entire extra day with their families, plus reduce pressures on the transport system (in our cities) and eliminate the 1 hr 20 mins – 2 hrs of an extra commute a week…
IIRC it has been introduced in Utah in the states to roaring success…
Jeremy, I don’t think we have. What is the verdict on the French 35 hour week, do you know?
Hard to tell due to the other changes in their economy, such as their massive holiday entitlements, massive entitlements in general really, EU pressures…
I know it is perceived as increasing unemployment and decreasing productivity but has been fantastic for happiness of citizens and equality (I guess it comes down to what is more important to the public) but I’ve peaked my own interest now and will do a bit of reading…
I think it’s an idea with some merit, worthy of investigation at least… It could reduce commuting traffic in our big cities once a week quite significantly which should have quite large economic, health, pollution and carbon benefits…
I’ll read up on France and Utah (I think it’s Utah) and flick you an e-mail…
I really like the French, the government gets involved in many things and does them because the people demand it, that’s democracy in action… I have a good friend who studied French at Uni and lived there for a couple of years and said barely a weekend went by when there wasn’t some mass protest about expanding rights… The Government is genuinely scared of the people… No bad thing…
Thanks Jeremy. Let me know what you come up with.
My wife went to a focus group a year or two ago on family values and how to stop kids going off the rails sort of thing. They broke into groups and came up with ideas and had to present them back to the others.
Her group came up with close the shops on weekends. I thought it was a bit odd but think about it. 20-30 years ago you were lucky if town had one late night and maybe the shops were open on a Saturday morning. SO parent were at home a lot more, they weren’t out working 7 days a week. They went along and got involved in kids sports. They had time to spend with family and develop the relationships that are needed to keep the family unit strong.
Phil, I feel troubled because I read Labrat’s post and didn’t realise that he was being facetious. In fact I actually agreed with him. Then I read your post and the way I interpreted it was that Labour made it easier for parents to work. I read: ‘Work and we’ll give you four weeks off!’ ‘Working and being a parent is stressful here have longer breaks’ ‘Look you can even work and have a baby- we’ll pay you for 12 weeks (are you serious 12 measly weeks???)’ And finally here shove your kids in care for 20 hours and you can work! I felt like there was a lot of pressure for both parents to go out and work, it seemed like Labour/Helen didn’t see a need for parents to raise their own kids. It felt like it was more important that I be a financially productive member of society than a mother to my children. I do give credit for working for families it gets our family (RNZAF serviceman, ex-teacher and 3 children) just to that financial borderline (and it really is a borderline) that means I can stay at home and really raise our children. It means I can be on the PTA, Kindy commitee, go on school trips and help out with the netball team. It means that I can raise our children with the values that our family lives by and leave the teachers just to teach them the 3 r’s. From my perspective having parents raise their children to be physically, mentally and emotionally healthy adults in the future is a lot better option than having parents in the workforce producing cash for the country now.
Surprised nobody has mentioned telework. If employers were encouraged to restructure jobs so that the part that needs to be done over the computer can be done from home… Less commutes, more time with the kids, more opportunities for the disabled.
There was one (small) federal agency in the States that implemented telework a few years ago, and they even had a savings on real estate expenses/office rent. They saved $1 million per year.
Think about it. There are so many jobs that are done primarily over the computer with emails, word processing, etc. Why couldn’t that be done from home? And if a face-to-face meeting was needed, why not use Skype? I used to work as a lawyer for a philanthropist in Washington, D.C. I was his in-house lawyer, but we rarely met. I worked mostly electronically and we often connected via cell phone. That was 10 years ago. Technology is even better now.
Seems the technology is there, but people are stuck using old models.
@ sasksmum – Thanks for your comment and good on you for choosing to invest in your kids the way you have. My wife and I have raised a son and at various times during his growing up we both took turns not to work or to work part time, and I am really glad we did that. Parents need to make the best choices they can for their kids – and sometimes this will mean choosing time with kids instead of paid work.
However, I also think that some families can make it work perfectly well with both parents working. And for so many families today it is hardly possible to get by financially without two incomes. Or one and a half.
Labour’s approach in government was to recognise that and put in the supports, like making quality early childhood education available, so that parents weren’t forced to choose between loss of paid work and sub-standard childcare. It wasnt Labour’s policy to force parents back to work, but to recognise that the financial pressures on Kiwi families are huge, and therefore to put in place policies that take some of the stress off.
@Andrew, we are finding that even as communications technology increases exponentially we as a society are becoming more isolated, less total friends but a few very close friends, more time spent communicating via a screen or line…
Fundamentally humans are social creatures and a part of that is physical contact… We can create energy neutral buildings and emissions free electrical transport… I would propose focusing on this rather then reducing our contact further…