The Melissa Key Guide to Crime Busting
Posted by Annette King on May 14th, 2009
- Build a motorway – the more lanes the better.
- Direct all criminals (from areas you want to insult) to travel on the motorway preferably with signs on their vehicles saying “CRIM-IN-TRANST” to help Police identify them.
- Chose an electorate as far away as possible from the place you want to win as the destination for the mobile crims.
- Have all off-ramps removed to ensure a smooth flow of crims to chosen destination.
- Dedicate one lane as an expressway for crims who own cars.
- Dedicate one lane for a busway for crims who don’t have cars or haven’t stolen one yet.
- Increase public transport concessions for crims who are prepared to travel during off peak times to carry out their crimes.
- Encourage car-pooling of crims to cut down congestion and reduce the carbon footprint.
- Build motorways which cut through communities removing hundreds of houses thereby reducing the number of homes that can be burgled.
- Get a TV production company to make a video of your success in reducing crime.
- Avoid the PM at all costs because although you were once his “chosen candidate” he now thinks your crime busting ideas are silly.
- Avoid the good people of South Auckland you have labelled as crims.
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Heh
[...] not sure if Annette King penned this herself, or one if her staff did, but it actually is pretty damn funny so worth a repeat: The [...]
Ha! Nicely done
Nice one Annette. I’ve been having a bit of fun too with it, <a href=”http://greenvoices.wordpress.com/2009/05/14/melissing-in-action/”over here.
Perhaps Ms Lee should take a leaf out of the King Guide to Being Minister of Police;
“Oh, you’re the victim of a violent crime but you’re also Caucasian? Unfortunately the offender’s right to commit violent crime is enshrined in the Gospel of Waitangi. Here, have a speeding ticket.”