Today is Mother’s Day. Despite the turnoff of the commercialisation of a day meant to celebrate the important role that our mothers play in all our lives, I believe that most people do spend some time thinking about their mums and acknowledging how special they are.
While I am a mum, of course I also have a mum. Today she is in Christchurch with my dad who has been in hospital for more than a week recovering from a significant operation. Usually we have a family get together. That won’t happen this year and I can’t wait to have them back home. But I do get to spend the day with my boys who need their mum and don’t get to see enough of me. I want to reflect on that because I passionately believe that while we need more mums in parliament to be able to truly represent our communities, there’s a cost to be paid.
When I stood for Parliament last year I wrote a piece called Mixed Emotions, in which I admitted being afraid of how being an MP would affect my family, particularly my children. Six months on from the election I’m doing my best to do the ‘work and family juggle’. It’s working out, but sometimes it feels as if I’m turning myself inside out.
And I know I’m not alone. There are other mums in our Parliament. Some with older kids and some with younger. Not many with younger children though, because it’s just too hard. There are some single mums too who are MPs and I’d like to acknowledge them and salute their courage. So here’s to the mums in New Zealand’s Parliament (not forgetting all the other mums).
I’d like to add a nod to MPs’ partners and spouses. My wife Clare is just incredible, basically having to act like a single parent for a lot of the time as well as taking care of me (essentially the third child in the family).
The fact that our kids are so young and the effects of an MP’s lifestyle on their family was the thing that I had to think long and hard about before I put my name forward for selection. Without Clare’s total support and encouragement I wouldn’t be here and today has been a great day to let her know how much that means to me.
great post clare & hope your dad gets better soon. i know that feeling of “juggling”, and the guilt that inevitably goes with being a busy working mum. i find that keeping them up-to-date on the things i’m doing, and why i do them, really helps (at least, i hope it does!). at least it means that they can see the value of the work i do when i’m away from them, and we can have discussions about the various issues that i’m grappling with. but then they’ll say something quite innocent which shows just how much they miss you, and yeah, back with the guilt again!
yes I concur.
though I look forward to the post on fathers day.
It is very easy to think of a person as their function/job (teacher policeman,MP etc) and forget that they are a human being with a family.
Also the role of mothering (the other half of familying
doesn’t have to be physical as many women provide that part of a relationship to others through their lives even though they haven’t begat them.
so yes lets honour mothers both physical and spiritual/emotional as without the people or role society wouldn’t be what it could be.
Honouring ones elders is in most cultures a positive thing.
thank you clare for the post.
Thanks for comments. MPs are people too, even though we tend to forget it. And yes I salute dads, though I do believe it’s harder for mothers being MPs as society expects so much more of us (as we do of ourselves). The first question people ask me is, how are your family coping without you? Guranteed to press all the guilt buttons.
I also agree about honouring our elders, but hey it was mother’s day!